In our last newsletter, we examined the beliefs we hold on to about our golf game and our life, and determined if they are helpful or impeding. Next, we examined how strongly we hold onto these beliefs. It is essential to understand that the stronger we hold on to a belief, the more it will affect us. In fact, the more certain we are about our beliefs, the more they become truth for us. Consequently, we make decisions based on these truths. That is to say, we behave the way we do based solely on what we believe.
So, how do we know which beliefs are impeding? More importantly, how do we release these negative beliefs that have become our personal truth on and off the golf course?
The first impression we have of these truths is that they are unquestionably true. When you hear yourself saying, “that is just the way life is,” or “this is the way I am,” or even, “I have proof that this is true,” you know that you are most certainly holding very strongly to a belief. In that moment, check in with yourself and see if the belief is helpful or impeding. Typically, you will find when you are being “right” about your beliefs, like the examples above, you are holding onto impeding beliefs. That is a good baseline from which to start.
Next, it is important to note that your personal reality reflects what you really believe. This is not always what you think you believe. Most often, there is a mismatch on what we think we believe and what we actually believe. We hold beliefs that we do not notice in our conscious mind, yet, we are still allowing them to dictate our actions, from a subconscious perspective. These “unseen” subconscious beliefs are seldom helpful and can be quite debilitating. These debilitating beliefs are usually formed in a moment when we are upset and frustrated. As a result, these impeding beliefs become self-sabotaging. We will continue to believe a certain way, even though we think we believe something different. We may question our results, or be confused why the outcome is what it is.
In order to release these negative, impeding beliefs, we need to become very real with ourselves. We must discover what we really believe by expressing what is really happening, not what we think should be happening. It is imperative to take a step back and look at what the reality is. Be aware, this may seem like a trick. We are not accustomed to looking so intently at our actions to determine what we really believe.
Let’s take a look at Joe Golfer. Joe believes that he should be shooting under 80 because he has taken lessons, plays at least twice a week, and has been active in the sport for 7 years. Joe believes that he has a chance to win the club championship if he just keeps playing at the level he is playing now. He further believes that his game should continue to improve without changing anything in his game.
The reality, meaning what is really happening, is that Joe every once in a while shoots under 80, and most of the time his score is in the mid to upper 80s. He does not talk about his score to anyone and is annoyed if his partners ask him or challenge him about his score. In essence, Joe pretends that his score is not what it really is.
Herein lays the problem for Joe. He has not accepted or expressed, even to himself, what his true score is. Joe has been holding onto to the belief that he shoots under 80, which causes him to do nothing to improve his playing ability. Until Joe honestly looks at the reality of his game, he will believe that he plays better than he does. Joe then will become increasingly frustrated as his belief does not match his reality. Joe will wonder why his score is so high and may even give up playing the game.
The solution for Joe is to be straight with himself. To be real and see that he does not play as well as he believes he plays. Once he comes to accept this reality, Joe can address his playing challenges and has a real chance at making lower scores.
Taking an honest and real look at what your reality is might be a challenging request; however, it is very worthwhile. Until we accept what the reality is, we will constantly suffer because our beliefs will not match our reality. In the next newsletter, we will examine the four types of belief systems and how they affect your golf game.
